To the girl I was back then, I forgive you.

Updated: Dec 18, 2020


“My goal for us at the end of our sessions together is for you to live a full, rich, independent life”, expressed my psychologist. “How does that sound?” she asked, as I responded; “Yes please!” You see, I reached a point in my life when I knew I couldn’t continue the way I was going. I carried around so much guilt for choices I’d made in the past, that they really started to weigh me down.


The brain believes what we tell it and if we continue to tell it the same thing over and over it will consume you and it will become you. This can have both positive and negative effects on us depending what our inner dialogue is. I was beginning to change as a person and every time I was thinking in a certain way or feeling a specific emotion, I was strengthening that pathway in my head. Thankfully, I recognised this wasn’t me, my usual optimistic, positive self and I seeked help. Even on the days, when I didn’t feel like I needed it, those were the days that counted the most.


A lot of the time, without even realising, we tell ourselves things which are based on feelings and not facts. Let me say that again, we listen to the feelings we are having instead of the actual facts. These are known as thinking mistakes, a cognitive distortion when our brain doesn’t tell us the truth. Of course we are only human and will all fall into errors of thinking but with practise we can learn to recognise what our narrative is. PND occurs in more than 1 in 10 women so if we can respond by changing the way we think into a more factual sense then it will help. It’s called neuroplasticity where we can rewire our brain.


I find it very interesting and am constantly reminding myself of the facts, why I ended up where I am right now on my journey as a single mum, living in Australia when my family are in the UK. Telling myself I DID make the right decisions at that moment in time for my own happiness and in turn my daughters. I AM where I am supposed to be right now and I WILL continue to have faith. The opposite to faith is fear and fear can come from obsessive thinking, again a rabbit hole which we’d rather avoid. Overthinking is something I’ve worked on for many many years. Running helps me clear my head and is my meditation, as well as the use of gratitude to calm the mind and stop it from racing.


In my most recent chat with my psychologist after falling into a thinking mistake, basing my thoughts on feelings (again) instead of facts, she exclaimed “you need to back yourself!” This is the moment I knew I was on the right track. Little did she know that I was currently writing a program for Mamas Journeys and I’d decided to name it ‘Back Yourself’. I was excited and this statement was an affirmation for me to keep going.


As I have gained more life experience and grown into who I am today I have more of a spiritual outlook, being more intuitive and aware of signs the universe is telling me. I’ve definitely been through turbulent times but noticed when things are going the way they are supposed to go, things just happen to fall into place. Certain people enter your life and as much as the situation you are in at that time may be hard, the process seems simple.


Living in a state of flow can be challenging, especially for us mums as it’s easy to become reactive. Understanding and knowing what is truly important to us and making sure we have a plan in place to prioritise what matters each day makes a difference. Trusting and backing yourself to know the decisions you make are decisions that will serve you better and the outcome will far exceed the bumpy course to get there.


That’s why my Signature Back Yourself Program was designed, with the tools to kickstart your overall health. So if health and fitness is important to you and at the moment is lacking, then this might be your signal to make some changes. You have to want to make some changes though and it has to be important to you. Having a willingness to put in the hard work because nothing ever worth having is easy and this program includes exercise sessions with meals to follow for 6 weeks. If followed it will not only result in you feeling good about yourself, it encompasses your mindset reversing any limiting beliefs and will set some solid habits. A byproduct of the program is an enhancement to your body shape, (see ya later flat bum and hello waist) giving you more confidence to enjoy life as a mum to the absolute fullest.


Life is precious, don’t waste it.

Rach xx


Find out more about our Back Yourself program


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